Monday, November 20, 2006Reunion
I had just woken up and had a light breakfast of sticky dates and apples, when a young boy named Danny came up to me saying that Ranmaru was in trouble and really needed my help. I contemplated whether I even wanted to help him, he had shunned me told me he couldn't be with me anymore because I had changed so much, what I really wanted to do was to stab him with my knife but better judgment kicked in so; Aryia to the rescue! I got him safely out and we proceeded to argue, I have found IM quite good at that. He said Aryia please come with me.. He took me back to where this all had started, Hua mountain, to that dreadful day that was so filled with love and pain. He explained that after he had drank the potion Malia had made for him all he could remember was my face filled with anger and the flames I threw at him. But now he could also remember love, love for me and the love he felt from me and was willing if I would forgive him to give it another go. Tears of joy streamed down my face as I said of course I would forgive him if he could do the same to me. He held me close for hours, we just sat reveling in the feel of each others arms and the power of our love.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006Unrequited love
I am so tired of crying what is the point, all the work I've done and asked of others. I find myself altering between two states of mind, sad embarrassingly whiny and destructive. My thoughts are chaotic,and have even found myself standing upon the paparets of my castle and almost just almost leaping from them into the night air. I say to myself; Aryia this is just a man, no one is worth steeping youself so deeply into such destructive thinking, but I cannot help myself. I have been drinking too much small portions of time have come amiss. How vile I am.
I must find some diversion for myself,perhaps a new hobby.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006Reckoning
My husband the blushing samurai is back to himself. Malia had warned me that there would be a price, a steep price I did not fully understand her words, I do now. On the night of Samhain ( Samhain is a magical interval when the mundane laws of time and space are temporarily suspended, and the Thin Veil between the worlds is lifted.) A special night for Witches and a more perfect night to resoul/revive Ranmaru could not have been chosen. Malia set the circle and Ranmaru stepped inside of it, Malia with the aid of Nadia prepared a concoction for Ranmaru to drink; demon ears, a petal of an eternal flower, special water from china a piece of a dead duck and many other things that IM still unsure of their nature. Malia knelt and spoke words over the cup, and Nadia heated the drink with fire before handing it to Ranmaru, who gulped it down quickly. Nothing at first seemed to happen I greatly feared that this would lead to a dead end, then He he grabbed hold of his stomach and fell to the ground. I rushed to him and tried to awaken him, holding my breath as he opened his eyes. I felt such joy at seeing his color soften to ivory and the edges of his skin that had torn away mend. I embraced him and gazed into his eyes and what I saw was utter horror and fear, stepping away from him I realized the ultimate price his trust. He now stays as far from me as he can not even able to look me in the eye, my only comfort is my sisters and hope that one day I can be forgiven.
Friday, October 13, 2006Hope
Some time has passed now since that disaster I like to call my wedding. Like most newly weds there is a period of transition into married life getting used to sharing a bed, a bathroom, and all the little privileges single people take for granted. This should not be such a burden especially when you love someone, as I love Ranmaru but I cannot take it anymore..This week alone I have had my servants burn several sets of sheets, it is not his fault I know. We have tried everything to dilute the strange smell that clings to him since he was brought back from death. The smell is small compared (though very distracting) to the change in my husband's personality, his lack of interest in anything is depressing. He is so cold towards me I find myself crying all the time, I just want my Ran back the way he was before I destroyed our life. I went to speak to the only group of people I thought could possibly help us, The Coven. After much debate they agreed to try to restore Ranmaru to his former (and beautiful) self with conditions, of course. I must serve the Goddess in return for her monumental aid. Preparations are in the works now nothing like this has ever been done before and will require great power to perform. I am so thankful to the women in the Coven for their selfless assistance to me and my husband, I at least have hope that once again my love and my life will be as it was before.
Saturday, September 30, 2006What have I done...
Everything was perfect all of our friends showed up, It was a dream wedding. Malia performed the ceremony wonderfully. Then towards the end Orchid told me it was Ran who had sent that zombie, I was infuriated with Ranmaru I didn't even stop to think or let him explain I did as I always do in my life when im hurt I attack. I was oblivious to everything around me my mind was focused on one thing death. [Info]: Ranmaru killed by Aryia. I did it I killed him my love my confidant. Then Orchid decides to tell me it was a joke, A JOKE! Why Why Why. I wanted to kill her too but instead made her leave, I had done enough damage for one day. Looking at the corpse of my beloved I knew what I had to do, I had to bring him back! I used every ounce of my powers into his remaking and thankfully he came back but what he is now im not sure. He moves breathes and talks but he's no longer my Ranmaru he doesn't seem to remember what happened maybe that's for the best for if he did how could he ever stand the sight of me. It was not Orchid's fault that I acted so precipitously but I do not know if I will ever be able to forgive her for lying to me I trusted her, I thought she was my friend..What have I done.
Friday, September 15, 2006Ar dheis DÃ© go raibh a anam
Having been lately so consumed with thoughts of death and despair by the wanton chaos around me, my emotional state has been unbalanced. My thoughts are chaotic and Im not able to control my powers completely. Unable to sleep I wandered around near my house in Damascus one evening taking a long walk, that seems to help me sometimes. I came near a shanty house. I peeked inside the house and was aghast at the grisly image before me, blood littered the floor and walls everyday items scattered throughout. I continued through with no thought to my own safety. I came into a small room near the back and found a body of a young man his form ravaged by a brutal assault. Backing myself against the wall I could not stop staring at what must have a been a beautiful man, tears streamed down my face. Putting my head to knees to keep from vomiting I barely noticed the sounds coming from the bed. I Looked up with frightened eyes at the mangled corpse standing in front of me its dead black eyes dull and lifeless but possessed of some power that frightened me to my core. I couldn't make myself move thinking what have I done, I just stared at the thing as it moved out of the room and out of the house. I sat there slackjawed until I heard screams coming from outside. Rushing out of the house I saw the thing plowing through people at an astonishing rate ripping them to pieces as he moved as though they were dolls. I ran quickly in front of the thing my mind racing, what had I done how can I stop this. I do not know what made me think to grab the knife I wear at my belt and slit open my wrist or what possessed me to put my bloody wrist to the mouth of that mangled corpse, but when I did it grabbed my hand and sucked the blood from my veins. Ripping my arm away and glaring around at the people that were peeking from overturned carts and out of windows trying to by myself what time I could ,I noticed that the thing had stopped moving entirely. I ripped the end of my skirt and hastily bandaged my wound, what in the world was I do to I just couldn't leave it there but how was I to get it away. I was in such a frantic state and was talking out loud I said I just want to go home and the thing turned around sluggishly and started walking, knowing not what else to do I followed it and found that the path he tread was the one to my house. It followed me inside. A thought came to me that perhaps my blood created a link with this monster and I could somehow control it though exactly how im not sure. Falling in a heap onto the floor I cried like I have never done before praying a senseless babble to Modron Goddess the divine mother for help. I must have fallen asleep when I woke there was a pile of dust at my feet.
Sunday, September 10, 2006At last...
Jenni and I decided to go over to Miss Ochid's shop to chat and hang out with her a bit, as well as to get some much needed advice regarding a situation I had gotten myself in. Orchid had a very interesting day herself and was a little sore from her adventures so I mixed her up a willowbark tea powder and fixed her a cup while we chatted. Naeva was there with Orchid and gave me a wonderful present a new hoe for my garden to help me in the cultivation of my fruits. All us girls sat around chatting and Jenni played with her wee monkey banny, I finally got up the nerve to tell Orchid about what I had done and implore as to what I should do to rectify my mistake. You see I had done a silly thing, I had lied to Ranmaru the lie itself is not important but the reason for it is I was scared and Orchid told me the best thing to do was to be honest with Ranmaru and that everything would be ok if I did. As we were discussing low and behold in walks Ranmaru himself, irony.. I sat there for awhile fidgeting my eyes alternating between orchids imploring eyes and the floor till I just could stand the tension no longer. I came clean with Ranmaru telling him about my lie and the reason for it. Ranmaru became really quiet and I feared the worst, would he never want to see my face again and how could I live with myself if that happened. After what seemed like hours though I am sure it was only moments now, Ranmaru looked at me his eyes unreadable and said to me; Aryia I have made you wait too long, he got on his knee and told me that he would like nothing better than to spend the rest of his life with me and asked me if I would marry him. I broke out in tears of joy and hugged him to me sighing yes yes of course Ranmaru. Smiling and crying at the same time I looked around me to find that Malia had walked in and had witnessed what I consider the happiest moments of my life..Truly at last